Penguin Poker Night
by Red Witch
Summary: Another night of hanging out with the Ice King. Being room mates with the guy is really driving Finn and Jake crazy.


**Penguins took off with the disclaimer that I don't own any Adventure Time characters. Just some more bonding fun with Finn, Jake and their new roommate, the Ice King. **

**Penguin Poker Night**

"It is me or was that dungeon really lame?" Finn sighed as he walked back with Jake from a day of dungeon crawling.

"It wasn't that bad," Jake said. "Had some pretty cool monsters."

"Eh," Finn waved. "I give it a three."

"Three? Come on man that dungeon was at least a five!" Jake was stunned. "What about the flaming spiders?"

"What flaming spiders?"

"The flaming spiders that came out while you were fighting that wood dragon?" Jake was stunned. "Where do you think I got the fire from to burn it?"

"Oh I didn't see them," Finn blinked.

"Yeah they were kind of small," Jake admitted. "But they were on fire and shot fire webs so that should count for something. Are you okay buddy? You still a bit down from losing Flame Princess?"

"Yeah. Kind of," Finn sighed as he started to open the door. "But this is what I needed to get back to doing. Dungeon crawling will help me get my head back in the game. Maybe get things back to normal again?"

When they opened the door they were met with a strange sight. A penguin wearing one of Finn's spare white bear hats. "Wenk."

"Jake…" Finn sighed. "We gots penguins again."

"Yeah…" Jake said. "I see that. So much for normal."

"Wenk," The hat wearing penguin quacked.

"ICE KING!" Both Finn and Jake shouted out.

"Hey guys come on in!" The Ice King said cheerfully. He was sitting at the table with BMO, Gunter and two other penguins. They were playing cards.

"What is going on here?" Finn snapped. He saw penguins were everywhere. Some were on his bed. Others were sitting on the couch. Another penguin was in the fridge eating food.

"HEY! GET OUT OF MY FRIDGE!" Jake yelled at the penguin. "Ice King your penguins are totally into our stuff!"

"Well you do have nice things," Ice King shrugged.

"Ice King! You can't just throw a party in our treehouse without telling us!" Finn snapped.

"For your information this isn't just a party," The Ice King told them. "This is part of the official monthly penguin meeting. This is all Ice Kingdom Business."

"A card game is Ice Kingdom business?" Jake folded his arms.

"Yes it is. It's part of the Penguin Appreciation Program," Ice King said. "It's a managerial thing implemented to make my penguins feel valued and appreciated. We always have card games at the end of our monthly meeting."

"Oh," Finn blinked. "Well I guess if it really is part of official Ice Kingdom business…"

"Don't be fooled Finn! I ain't buying it," Jake said. "This is just you mooching off of us!"

"It is not! We so did have a meeting and I can prove it!" Ice King snapped. "Goonder! Read back the minutes of the meeting!"

Goonder, a penguin took out a very long piece of paper attached to a stenographer's machine. "Wenk," He said. "Wenk. Wak. Wak. Wenk wak. Wenk. Wak. Wak. Wenk."

"Hold on, let me see that!" Jake took the paper and looked at it. "Oh. These are official notes all right. Guess he wasn't lying."

"Told you," Ice King huffed. "Normally we would have these meetings in the great hall in my castle. But since you caused it to be **melted into the ground** we can't have it there! Remember? Because you manipulated your crazy ex into destroying my home. Leaving me and the penguins homeless. Remember that?"

"Yeah I remember," Finn sighed.

"I know me taking care of my subjects may not be important to you…" Ice King went on. "But since their home was destroyed because of **your selfishness** they've been a little down."

The Ice King picked up Gunter and held him in front of Finn's face. "Go on. Break their little hearts again. Tell them they can't have a small little card playing party. Go ahead."

"Wenk…" Gunter made her eyes grow big.

Finn made a frustrated sigh. "Well I guess if it really is official Ice Kingdom business I can't stop you. All right. Just don't make a mess and eat all the food okay?"

"BURP!"

"Too late," Jake groaned as a penguin burped.

"Goondy! Stop being such a piggy mister!" The Ice King put Gunter down and walked over to the penguin by the refrigerator. "You're getting to be a real fatty fat!" He lightly poked the pudgy penguin in the bell. "No more extra desserts for you."

"Ah great! Now we gotta go all the way back to the Grocery Kingdom again," Jake groaned.

"You can do that later," Ice King waved. "Come on! Join the game! Have some chips! Oh wait Goondy ate all the chips. Sorry about that."

"Uh since this is Ice Kingdom business…" Finn began.

"Oh don't worry about that," Ice King waved. "All the official stuff is already done. Nothing in the rules that says you guys can't join in the fun! It is your house after all."

"Thank you for noticing," Jake said sarcastically.

"This is gonna be fun! We're gonna get cray-zay!" The Ice King laughed and waved his arms.

"Some of us are **already** crazy," Jake groaned.

"Come on Jake," Finn sighed. "We might as well join in. Not like we have much of a choice."

Sometime later…

"Hmm…" The Ice King puzzled over his cards.

"Come on man we don't have all night!" Jake barked. He and Finn were playing cards with the Ice King and a few penguins. There was a pile of candy in the middle of the table.

"Just a minute. I'm thinking it over…" Ice King had a puzzled look on his face.

"If you're thinking we're gonna be here all night," Jake groaned.

"BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"Aw man! Ice King your penguin barfed all over the floor!" Jake snapped.

"Sorry about that. But it serves you right Goondy for being such a piggy!" Ice King snapped. He put down his cards. "Gin!"

"We're playing poker, Ice King!" Jake grumbled. He looked at the cards. "And you still have a better hand than I do."

"He has a better hand than all of us," Finn realized. "How can we lose to the Ice King when he doesn't even know what game we're playing?"

"He, he, he, he…" Ice King giggled as he collected his winnings. "Come to papa!"

"I'm not so sure it was the Ice King as much as the guy who shuffled the cards," Jake looked at one of the penguins. "Gunter!"

"Are you insinuating that Gunter is cheating?" Ice King gasped innocently.

"No, I'm saying it outright!" Jake snapped. "You must be hiding extra cards up your sleeves you cheating penguin!"

"What sleeves?" Finn blinked.

"Uh well…I tell you Gunter cheats!" Jake barked. "I don't know how Gunter does it but I know he does it! Or she does it. I can't remember if Gunter is a guy or a girl."

"Let's play another game," Finn suggested.

"Right! Something I **know** the Ice King can't cheat at!" Jake agreed.

A little while later…

"Okay Finn turn left! Left! Now the other way!" Jake cheered on as Finn and Ice King played a video game on BMO. "NO! WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT!"

"AAGGGH!" Finn yelled as he lost the game.

"I **win!** Yeah! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Ice King whooped. "In your face!"

"Aw dang it!" Jake groaned.

"One more time! You just got lucky Ice King!" Finn snapped.

"All right! Let's go round again!" Ice King agreed as he took the controller.

Ten minutes later…

"Yeah! I win again!" Ice King cheered. This time several penguins were watching as well.

"No way! I want a rematch!" Finn snapped.

Three rematches later…

"And the winner is…" Ice King cheered. "The Ice King!" The penguins all quacked and clapped with glee.

"Aw man!" Finn groaned as he put down the controller. "I don't believe this!"

"Okay this is just sad," Jake groaned.

"Aww yeah! Who's the King?" Ice King cheered. "I'm the King! WHOOO HOO!"

"Wow, you really got your butt kicked Finn," BMO remarked.

"I can't believe I lost a video game to the _Ice King_," Finn moaned.

"Wow you really are on a losing streak aren't you?" Ice King chuckled. "Between Flame Princess dumping you, Bubblegum giving you the brush off and you failing to kiss Slime Princess your luck has really gone sour!"

"Uhhhhgggghhh," Finn moaned in agony.

"I mean I'm talking epic fail here. She actually threw up at the thought of kissing you," Ice King chuckled. "I think that's happened to me a couple of times. But I'm old. I get why princesses throw up sometimes when I want to kiss them! You…Oh man, there's really no excuse. Unless every princess in Ooo finds you completely unattractive."

"Okay I want to die now…" Finn flopped down to the floor.

"Ice King when exactly will your kingdom be finished again?" Jake asked.

"Not soon enough for me," Finn groaned.

"BLEAAAHHHH!"

"My sentiments exactly Goondy…"Jake groaned as the penguin threw up on the floor again.


End file.
